My Journey to Motherhood

I've wanted to be a mama for a long time. I just knew my main purpose in life was to have babies and raise them to be Christ-followers. It was my heart's desire and I knew that when the time was right, I was ready for that. Little did I know that my journey to motherhood would be bumpy...and slow.

It began like this: Our dream vacation to Italy in June 2006 was our Baby Kick Off (which should be it's own blog post because we had some seriously funny things happen to us on that trip!).

By the following spring, we still weren't pregnant. So we had that doctor visit. You know, the one where they tell you all the possible reasons why you aren't getting pregnant. Luckily, our diagnosis was 'treatable.' So we started fertility drugs. Several months later, still no luck. Then on to the next step. More fertility drugs and shots (sigh) and 4 rounds of IUI...which were all unsuccessful.

At this point I was pretty much one crazy wanna-be-mama (I blame it on the fertility drugs). So we decided to take a little break and revisit the subject in about 6 months.

Six months later, in the spring of 2008, we went back to the doctor. This time, he suggested further investigation for anything undetectable thus far. So, in March 2008 I had an outpatient surgery to clear my tubes. At that time, it was discovered that I had endometriosis. I hadn't had any symptoms of this so we didn't think it was a factor in our infertility struggles. But it was. The doctor was able to burn off the endometriosis during surgery, but the terrible thing about it is that it continues to come back until a woman goes through menopause. Yep, you guessed it. I was a mess about this news.

Our doctor had a treatment plan. He could chemically shut my body down and make it go through menopause. Then restart it with more drugs. My thoughts: "Sign me up...I wanna have a baby!!" Brad's thoughts: "Are you kidding me? More fertility drugs for my crazy wife? Count me out."

Yeah, you can probably see the problem here.

I so desperately wanted to get pregnant on my time table that I didn't care what it took. I would've given my right arm if they'd told me it would help. Brad just wanted his 'normal' wife back.

If you know my sweet hubby, you know that he is pretty laid back when it comes to decision making. He goes with the flow and doesn't usually make a fuss about things. He just wants me to be happy.

But for some reason, he was very adamant that we not go with the doctor's recommendation. Oh believe me...I cried and begged and tried to talk some sense into him. But he wouldn't budge. So I listened and trusted him, and we refused the doctor's prescribed plan.

The doctor understood our concerns and told us we would still have the greatest chance of getting pregnant that month after the surgery since everything had been 'cleaned out' (yeah right...I didn't believe it). 

Surprisingly, on May 6, 2008 I found out we were going to be parents after nearly two years of struggling with infertility. I can still remember the way I felt when I found out we were pregnant. It's like I could almost hear our Heavenly Father audibly saying to me, "See I told you. My timing is perfect. Oh, and it is important to listen and trust your husband!" (Great reminder for me even as I sit here writing this!!)

That Sunday was Mother's Day. I know you will think I'm crazy when I tell you this (but if you knew me when I was on fertility drugs, you already know how crazy I can be) but I spent my first official Mother's Day celebrating in secret. I hadn't told Brad the good news yet. Yes, I know I'm leaving you totally hanging...but that is a great story all in itself that I will save for another time.

My journey to motherhood was not what I had expected. It was so much better. It was incredibly hard at the time, but the Lord has used our experience to help others who face infertility (just like we had others walk through it with us!). And that, my lovelies, is one of the reasons I think we went through it in the first place. 

And besides...these sweet faces were worth the wait.

Channing Elizabeth, 11 months, 2009

Chaz Anderson, 11 months, 2011