Goodbye. Hello.

Today we said goodbye to our first home. We built this home 16 years ago when we began our marriage journey. We were babies. Babies.

This house is the longest place either of us has called home. We came home from our honeymoon to this house. We brought our babies home to this house. We had career changes and made huge family decisions in this house. We fought for our marriage in this house. We lost a parent in this house.

I will miss it.

I will miss the silly, seemingly unimportant parts of this house. Like the master closet; it's where I hid to talk on the phone. It's also the place where I chunked a candle into the wall when we struggled with infertility...and where we prayed the night before our first child was finally born.

I will miss the bushes in the front yard. It's where we took pictures before every important event in our lives...like daddy/daughter date night and soccer games and the first day of school. It's where we hid Easter eggs and was the scene of all the epic pool noodle light saber battles.

I will miss the kitchen sink. It's where I learned not to put 8 eggshells into the disposal. It's where I stood for countless hours watching my tiny humans play while I did dishes or meal prepped. It's where Brad washed my hair when I was on bedrest during pregnancy and where he bathed Channing and Chaz when they were infants.

It is hard to say goodbye to something with that many memories.

So I choose not to say goodbye. But instead, I will say hello. Hello to our new home. Hello to new memories. Hello to a new master closet...a new picture spot...a new kitchen sink view. Hello.

One more quick story before the unpacking shall commence. Brad and I were scheduled to return from our honeymoon on his birthday, June 9, 2002. But our flight from the Bahamas was delayed and we had to spend the night in Florida. We flew home the next day and he carried me over the threshold of our new home for the first time...one day later than planned. On June 10, 2002.  June 10th.

I don't believe it's a coincidence that we walked out of this home for the last time on June 10, 2018. Our heavenly Father is a part of every detail in our lives. And what seemed like an annoyance and extra expense 16 years ago now feels like a nice big bow on top of a wonderfully wrapped gift. He is with us for every hello and goodbye.

When My Student Tagged Me on Facebook

A student tagged me on Facebook. But it's not what you think.

She was a student in my very first class EVER....18 years ago. 

Recently, she was going through some of her childhood things that she had saved and came across several books that had little notes written in them from different times in her life. One of them was a book I had given her at Christmas with a personalized note written on the inside cover. Among the childhood treasures she had chosen to save from family and other loved ones, was my book. MY book. In her own words, she saved "what she thought was important...what memories were worth preserving." The memory of her time in my class was worth preserving to her. 

Little did she know that the Sunday evening she tagged me in that post would be the start to a very challenging week of teaching for me. But coming back to her words at the end of every long day that week kept me going. 

When I felt like I could not possibly be making a difference, she reminded me that I did. And that I am. 

When I felt like my role as a teacher was less about teaching reading and more about teaching children about responsibility and respect and gratitude, she reminded me that those lessons are equally important.

When I felt like I could not crawl out of bed at 5:30am for one. more. day, she reminded me that my presence at school was important. And is important.

I can't box up her words and save them like she did with the book I gave her. But I can come back to her Facebook post. Because to me, that is an important memory worth preserving.

Embrace

Hey, Christmas. Apparently, I can't quit you.

That was my formal dining table a week ago. And we finally took down our outside Christmas lights. Yesterday. Nearly a month after Christmas.

The Half-Way Birthday

Today is a milestone birthday. The last of the single-digits. The half-way mark. The doorway from little kid to big kid.

Nine years our Channing has been with us under our roof. Nine more to go. Gulp.

Everything about this past year has been so representative of this half-way birthday. I think more than any other, she has changed the most this year.

As we navigate the uncharted waters of the half-way stage, the place where she is not little but not yet big, we are going to treasure every moment. Every. Single. One. Because I have a feeling the second half is going to zoom by.

SEVEN

A 6 pound, 12 ounce boy stole my heart at 12:17pm exactly 7 years ago. He continues to steal my heart when he tells me things like, "Mom, your laugh is adorable." and "You'll always be my plus one, Mom." and "Mom, it's good to be part of life with you." Not. Even. Kidding.

Get ready to have your heart stolen too.

Happy 7th Birthday to the boy I adore! I know you won't stay little (and I'm ok with that-I think). So instead I will say, stay compassionate. Stay tender-hearted. Stay generous. Stay brave. Stay fun. Stay focused on the Father. Stay mine.
We love you, Snazzy Chazzy!


If you have a fever and the only prescription is more Chaz cuteness, then see below for pictures from past birthdays. :)

Chaz's SIXTH birthday

Chaz's FIFTH birthday

Chaz's FOURTH birthday

The Noise

Today my heart was bruised. I really want to say crushed-but I'm working on being less dramatic-so I'll say that my heart was bruised. It doesn't really matter why. And tomorrow morning, when I wake up, maybe I'll believe that to be true. 

But in the meantime, I turned my emotional energy into something productive. And I went on a 3 mile run. True confession: I hate running. 

During the course of my run, the noises of the world smothered me.  

Noise in my own head. 

Noise from the cars passing me by with blaring radios. 

Noise of barking dogs. 2nd true confession: I also hate dogs. (Now you're really wondering what kind of crazy person I am over here.) 

Noise of lies the world tries to convince me are true. 

So many noisy distractions.

It's hard sometimes to ignore the noises of the world. It's easier to blend in with the noises...for them to swallow you up and make you disappear.

It's noisy today. It might be noisy tomorrow. And this won't be the last time that it will be noisy. But my prayer is that I will hear the still, small voice of God above the noises of this world and that I will listen to Him. 

When the Lord Turned 3 Years into 6

Big changes are about to happen in our home.

I've shared about our past struggle with infertility. And I've shared our story about my journey to becoming a stay-at-home-mama. I love stories with happy endings. This one is no different.

Grab your after-dinner sweet treat and settle in for another story with a happy ending...